Save Me, General
by StrifeBusiness
Summary: Cloud is on the verge of being kicked out the army. The only one with the power to save him is Sephiroth, but will it prove to be more than just business?


**Save me, General**

This will be a fanfiction story revolving around the characters Cloud and Sephiroth.

It's going to be very, very gay.

And a little bit funny, not-so-serious in places, much swearing, craziness and fun

Chapter One

**The Final Opportunity**

* * *

This was the greatest opportunity he'd ever been given.

Or so Cloud Strife thought, staring down at the application form for the thousandth time that morning. Today could change everything for him. All the cadets would look up to him with envy, wishing they could be that blonde, skinny son-of-a-bitch. It was going to happen for him. It really was.

"Applying for the role of Sephiroth's secretary?" his roommate laughed, finding his friends enthusiasm absolutely adorable… _and_ a little desperate.

Cloud pouted at him. "It's NOT a secretary role, it's a _personal helper_ role!"

The word 'secretary' instantly set off a million ideas in the blondes filthy brain. It WOULD be nice to be his secretary, wouldn't it? Answering his calls, addressing him as the boss, wearing tight clothes that he could bend down in whenever Sephiroth was behind him.

"Then why are you dressing like a faggot?" his friend asked, undressing the blonde with his judgemental eyes. "Couldn't you TRY to be a little more normal?"

Cloud threw his pillow at him. "I'm guessing by NORMAL you mean straight?"

"Imagine what the General will think," his roommate howled, picturing Sephiroth's reaction to the blonde. "If he asks about your personal skills, tell him how many things you can fit in your mouth without choking!"

Cloud threw his head in his hands. "He's going to laugh at me!"

This opportunity was everything to him. Without this, he would almost definitely be thrown out of the army. It hadn't been the greatest year for him. The dress code had already been broken at least a hundred times and his mouth usually got him into trouble.

But not in the way he'd have liked.

"They've given you a warning?!" his mum had screamed down the phone once he'd told her. "What is it for this time, sexual indecency!"

Cloud had screamed back at her. "You need to actually have HAD sex to be charged with that!"

The blonde always got into trouble without actually meaning to. His small frame meant he wasn't the greatest cadet either, so he couldn't make up for it in physical ability.

That's why this opportunity meant so much to him.

It might have been his last chance.

"Stop moping and hit the shower," his roommate sighed, walking up to Cloud's wardrobe and shaking his head. "I'll choose a slightly less stupid outfit."

The blonde went to argue that **fashionable** was not **stupid**, but decided to just agree and let it happen. "Fine, but don't make me look like a fucking idiot."

"I'll make you look less like a piece of meat and more like a piece of opportunity."

Cloud huffed at him, clambering off the bed and heading towards the bathroom. He was already emotional and stressed, and he hadn't even gone to the interview yet. There was only one way he could relieve this stress, the one thing he did religiously whenever he needed to calm down and relax. And he knew just how much his roommate enjoyed that one thing.

"I swear to holy christ," he heard from the other room. "If I hear you masturbating in there one more time, I'll tear the lil shit off!"

That settled it then.

Cloud was going to masturbate.

* * *

The waiting room was a living hell. It was like being thrown into a giant sausage-fest, without the reward of sex or human contact.

Cloud had completely ignored his roommates advice, opting to wear a vibrant blue shirt and tight, _tight_ jeans. He felt fabulous, and yes he looked it, but with that luxury came the obvious fact that he did LOOK gay and it WAS obviously so.

All eyes were on him and clearly for the wrong reasons. With the stares he was getting, it looked like were planning a huge orgy, with him as their sexual slave. But in reality, they were either ready to cover their crotches or fearing their masculinity.

The sound of his name being called practically gave Cloud an orgasm.

He practically jumped out of the waiting room, ready to fall into the General's muscular arms and cry his every last emotion out.

"_Oh, hold me Sephiroth!"_

The man that had called his name paused, looking Cloud up and down with a fascinated look. It's almost as if he could predict the failure which was about to happen. Cloud would have punched him in his smug little face, but he'd worn out his hand earlier that morning.

"Just go and sit down," the man ordered, pointing to an empty seat in the corner.

Cloud walked in, practically skidding across the room as his body shook and trembled. It was as if he were gliding to his master, ready to thrust at him and offer all bodily functions for the chance to be his assistant. There were no limitations to what he would do.

He took his seat, flapping his legs around as he decided whether to cross them or keep them on the floor. Too feminine? Too fake? Too fucking uncomfortable?

The chair before him began to turn.

_Oh sweet holy christ._

Cloud secretly hoped that it wouldn't be Sephiroth on that chair. He would rather the whole thing be a prank, with the President of Shinra sat before him, holding a sign that read, 'you're out of the company!' That seemed less of a punishment now.

Or perhaps his mother, with her raging hormones, here to snatch him away.

But no, it was Sephiroth, it was always going to be Sephiroth.

"State your name."

Cloud almost forgot how to breathe, let alone make a sentence. "Strife, sir."

The General looked him up and down, amused almost, a smile creeping onto his lips. His eyebrow raised slightly as he took in his outfit, his posture, his ridiculous hair and the army of sweat lurking on his forehead.

Well, this was certainly an interesting one.

"Tell me why you have applied," Sephiroth asked, leaning comfortably back in his chair. "The honest motive behind attending this interview.

_Oh jesus, lie._

_Whatever you do, lie._

"I thought the opportunity to work aside the Great Sephiroth… The experience I would get from being… A complete honour to be here…"

It was all complete bullshit.

The worse part of it was, Sephiroth knew that, snickering to himself as Cloud practically word vomited all over his desk, not processing a single thing that fell out of his mouth.

"Enough of that," Sephiroth said, his tone a little too harsh for an interview. "I asked for the honest reason for you coming here, not the rehearsed one."

Cloud was ready to shit blood.

What on earth could he say? What could he conjure that all the other men wouldn't say? What could save him now?

_Say you're a big fan._

"I…"

_Talk about all your dreams and ambitions._

"Came here…"

_Whatever you do, don't be yourself._

"I CAME HERE BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I'LL GET KICKED OUT THE ARMY FOR GOOD."

… Anything but that.

Sephiroth was silent for a moment, placing his hands to his head, no doubt trying to figure how exactly to reply to such a response. He titled his head upwards, giving Cloud direct eye contact, whilst giving nothing away about his reaction.

Until he started laughing.

LAUGHING.

That was it. Cloud was ready to get up and flip the table. That and soar out the window.

Sephiroth sat up a little, taking the blondes files into his hands. "Finally."

Cloud stared wide-eyed at him. "Am I excused?"

"Quite the contrary," Sephiroth grinned, jotting something down on a piece of paper. "I'm relieved to finally here a bit of honesty in these interviews."

Cloud could feel the snot dripping down his face.

At least it wasn't the tears.

"Well, then," Sephiroth continued. "Tell me about your skills and hobbies?"

Skills?

Did Cloud Strife have any skills?

_Don't mention your mouth._

The sound of his roommate flashed into his head, along with his earlier advice.

_Do NOT mention your mouth._

Hobbies? What hobbies? What could he honestly do that didn't crumble before him?

_SAY SOMETHING BESIDES YOUR MOUTH._

"I can fit a lot of food in my mouth without choking!"

Shit.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at him, trying to mask the amusement. "How very impressive."

The blonde gawped at him.

Cloud had tried to ignore it, but seeing as Sephiroth himself had slapped him in the face with mockery, it was no longer easy to avoid.

This man was perfection.

The blonde was utterly thankful he had already let out bodily fluids that morning and ruined all chances of an erection. Sephiroth was utterly divine. There was nothing Cloud could do to stop his mind from wandering every time the man spoke or given that, breathed. He felt intimidated by his beauty. But then he felt utterly compelled by it. Not in the stupid, typical guy way that he usually did, where he'd check someone out and consider them to be 'hot.'

Oh no, Sephiroth was… _beautiful._

"You have really nice eyes."

And apparently, it was impossible for him to keep his opinions to himself.

Sephiroth actually let out a laugh. "Trying to flatter me, are we?"

"No!" Cloud cried, practically flying off of his seat. "My mouth just tends to get me into trouble."

There was a playful glint in Sephiroth's eye. "I thought your mouth was your greatest talent?"

Cloud almost choked on air.

"That is the end of the interview," Sephiroth informed him, his voice getting a little less playful and a lot more serious. "You will hear back in a few days."

Cloud didn't even need to be told.

He ran out of there, hanging his head in pure shame and violent depression. The blonde was tempted to hug all of the waiting men and let them know they had no competition. That after that show, they would all be fine. And he would have done.

… If they weren't all afraid he'd mount them.

* * *

Sephiroth flicked over the remaining files, telling his assistant at the door to hold off the interviews for a minute. He kept going back to the same file, again and again. Flipping through, again and again, seeing his name, again and again.

**Cloud Strife.**

"_Gets into a great deal of trouble, not considered dangerous, openly homosexual."_

Sephiroth froze for a second.

Openly gay? Well, that he had guessed, but now he knew for sure…

"Cancel the interviews."

The man at the door sprinted over. "But sir, there are over thirty guys here!"

"Cancel them," he demanded, leaning back into his seat. "And leave me be for now."

The man did as he was told, glumly walking into the room of anxious men and delivering the news. They all looked angry, disappointed, upset, but Sephiroth didn't care. Usually he would have, of course he would have, he was a considerate and caring man to those who deserved it.

But he couldn't be.

Because as much as it annoyed him to the core, Sephiroth had subconsciously already chosen his winner.

Cloud Strife, huh?

"Damn."

* * *

**I don't even know, I planned so many different things and then wrote this madness.**

**Please tell me if you liked it and I'll give you more chapters, but it's a little insane... and a little messy... nyuk nyuk nyuk.**


End file.
